Some Random Dude

I do not like spam. I can guess that you are not too keen on spam either. It wastes our time, distorts site statistics and just makes the world a less enjoyable place to live. We know spammers are jerks and spammers know they are jerks as well. This fact makes the pill a little easier to swallow. Imagine for a second that a spammer actually begin to speak out about the atrocities of bloggers being unwilling to allow their “ads” to be on their site. Begin the eye-rolling, this one is a pure nugget of gold. This is by far the best piece of blog spam I have ever received. Bar none.

Yes Hello,
My name is Paul Germana. And I have a question which I know you cannot answer. But I’m just going to ask it to make you look at yourselves. Why is it not up to the “owner” of the blog whether or not he allows ‘adds’ to be posted on his site? Not allowing people to place adds on blogs in like not allowing a salesman to knock on your neibors door, because you think you own the “block”. Try as you might you will not own the internet. That is to monopolize, which inspite of what we see today is still illegal.
Furthermore, it is simple to prevent “spamming”. The owner simply posts a request at his blog: “No soliciting please” . Here is how I know it would work. One, because it is a golden rule as old as time; and two, any good blog community has a “nextblog” button. And that is the one and only community a “spammer” (as you call him) is going to be interested in. If he sees “no soliciting” he knows he has hundreds of thousands of other blogs at the click of the mouse. Instead of wasting his time with someone who has said “no soliciting” he is going to gamble on the person who has’nt said “no soliciting”.(Old As Time) What you are trying to do is own the world wide web, which you know is unethical; but you have plan. Blame it all on the “spammer”, a fictional person which you all have created in order to distract attention from the more sinister act of taking the email address of the person who pays you for adds at his or her own site and in turn gives you emails of the people who are supposed to be going to THEIR site!!!
Then you take those emails and put them into a server which you or one of your fellow “business associates” owns, to share your stolen emails. This is why it’s so easy for you to lie when you say, “You are automatically approved for a visa-gold card”. But there is no visa card. You merely buy ads from underhanded webpage builders who used to work for, (or for that matter) are the credit-holders, who just want you to pay them in what else, “email addresses”. It’s the oldest foot in the door trick in the world. You say, “I’m not a salesman, I’m a businessman.” Then you have the gall to talk about manners to the “lower-class” citizens who have more talent in their pinky toes than you have in your whole body. It does’nt take talent to be a cheat. But you know what does take talent? The way that I go anywhere I want on the web and there is nothing you can do about it,Why?..well because there are millions upon millions of spinsters just like you who are confined within their little tiny no effort spaces, begging me to come and join their community. You think we don’t see you. And that is why yet another blogcommunity is up for sale.
Anonymous spammer

I do not feel it wise to give attention to less-than-brilliant communication on this blog but this was so over the top that I had to put it out there for reading. To me, this almost seems akin to a spammer’s manifesto; Detailing how society is denying the spammer’s rightful place at the top of the search engines. There are almost as many intellectual pitfalls in this rant as there are typos. To think that spam is the equivalent of door-to-door salesmanship is as ridiculous as insulting to our intelligence. While I detest the idea of being hit up with a salesman at my door, it still takes a certain amount of, for a lack of better words, balls to embark on such a vocation. Spamming requires nothing but an internet connection and absolute disregard for other people.

More important, blog spam dilutes the pool of information on the internet and therefore makes pertinent information harder to find. Yes, I know, this is highly worthless to bring up as everyone with half a brain is aware of this. We have all been exposed to the “black is white”, “up is down” logic that has been pervasive in the world lately. This rendition of such tactics however was so over-the-top however that I felt compelled to write about it. So yes, I am going to let this little piece of spam make it through to my page (sans URL of course). I hope this brings as many sighs as chuckles to a few of you reading this.